Kayla Rebecca

I thought this would be a good place to write some of my thoughts about my labor experience and post some pictures.

As posted in other blogs, it was a complete miracle that we were able to get pregnant. I was blessed to have a very smooth pregnancy. That doesn't mean there weren't a few issues, but I really felt good right up until the last few days and the majority of my issues were from the actual physical presence of the baby. I know a lot of the reason for this was that I tried to take care of myself. That means I went to Dr. Frazier and got good nutritional supplements that helped support my body. I also tried to eat really healthy and went on walks right up until the end. I tried to look at labor as a marathon and I knew I need to train properly if I wanted the race to go smoothly. One of the main side effects of the pregnancy I noticed was that it just made everything harder. Like, if I had to get up in the middle of the night I was more tired the next day than if I wouldn't have been pregnant.

I started preparing for labor well ahead of time. One of the first things I did for this was to attend the childbirth class I talked about in an earlier post. My main objectives in this class were to eliminate any fears I had about labor, be informed, develop a birth plan, learn coping techniques, and learn how to make my labor the best experience possible. I was able to accomplish all of these objectives and the class was VERY helpful. I would strongly recommend the classes to any of you that are expecting in the Utah County area, even if this isn't your first birth (birthingyourway). It was so nice to know how to work with the hospital and to know more in-depth about the different interventions and twists and turns that labor can throw at you. I also had Heather Shelley be my doula and I was really glad it worked out. There were a few key moments I was really glad she was there for. (A doula is usually a midwife who comes to the birth just to help you and your husband have a good experience. She doesn't do any of the medical part but she was able to help me be more comfortable and confident. She knew what to do in certain circumstances when there was no nurse around and my husband nor mother didn't really know what to do.)

The other main thing I did was go to Dr. Frazier. I started acupuncture with him about two months before my due date. We started out by just doing an overall balancing of energy for the first couple of sessions. Then the last few times he did my "go" points, which will help start labor if your body is ready and, if not, will help get your body ready for labor. I always felt a lot better after going to him. The main objective of doing the acupuncture is so that when your body goes in to labor, your energy is balanced so it can flow freely and you don't experience as much pain and the labor goes more smoothly and quickly.

Now, every week when I went to the OB/GYN she would measure me. You are generally about the same centimeters as months that you are. Up until about 32 weeks, I measured right on. But at the end I was measuring quite small. I wasn't complaining. My belly never got really huge and my husband's family typically has small babies. At 37 weeks I measure 35 cm. but then at 38 weeks I measured 34 cm. So the doctor was a little concerned and had me get a non-stress test at the hospital. I showed being a little low on amniotic fluid. I was an 8 and they like it to be at least a 10. So they scheduled me to come back in a week. I drank tons of liquid and rested way more than I wanted to because it is supposed to help.

It was also at this time that I started having a lot of pre-labor symptoms. I was really tired and I would have about 20 contractions in a day. They didn't hurt or anything but, if nothing else, they made me start thinking that I could go in to labor at anytime. I felt like things were changing in my body. I already knew the baby dropped (which is probably a lot of the reason my measurement went down) but I could swear the baby was working her way down even farther. I know this was helped a lot by my walks.

Well, then I went in for my scheduled non-stress test thinking it was no big deal. However, the lady there said my fluid was down to 4.2 and I would need to stay in the hospital and be induced that day. I was disappointed and she didn't quite understand that. I guess a lot of women would be happy to get it over with. However, I knew that with pitocin it would be harder to have it naturally. Plus, I was really looking forward to starting labor on my own and seeing when it would happen and what it would be like. It's an amazing thing to me that your body knows when you are ready and knows what to do all on it's own and I wanted to experience this.

There were a few benefits of being induced though. To me the best part was that it was in the middle of the day. I had just had breakfast and a good night's sleep and had plenty of energy for labor. I was also nice to just get it over with.

Well, they checked me thinking that since I still wasn't due for a week and since this was my first time, that I would need some gel to help ripen my cervix. It turned out I was 70% effaced, soft, 1.5 cm. and at -1 station. The nurse was the most surprised by the baby being down that far. I wasn't surprised. I could have told her she was down really low. Because I was almost ready to start labor on my own, I knew that this labor could still be smooth and a good experience. I talked to the nurse and told her I wanted to do it as natural as possible. She was good to work with and the doctor agreed to put me on a low dose of pitocin and to not break my water unless things didn't progress well on their own. My doula advised me not to let them break my water if possible because my fluid was already really low and because it makes the contractions more painful and it really wasn't necessary that early on in labor.

So they started the pitocin a little after noon. I had called my husband at 11am and knew he wouldn't be able to be there until around 2pm. I knew it would take a while to get things going so I figured the best use of my time would be to walk. I started out by pacing back and forth by the side of the bed. The nurse found the only telemetry unit and hooked that on to my IV stand. I was surprised when she said she would have to find it and wasn't sure if it was charged or if it worked. I thought a lot more women than that walked up and down the halls. Anyway, after a while, pacing got boring so I walked up and down the hall in front of my room. At this point, and right up until the end, walking is what felt the best. When I would walk, the contractions were stronger and more consistent. My main objective was to get as little pitocin as possible. It also helped to just walk through the contraction. For the first several hours the contractions just felt like the cramps you get at that time of the month. They slowly got worse but it took a long time before they got really bad. Around 2pm my husband and mom got there. It was great to have people to talk to and keep a light conversation going. They helped me walk and pulled the IV stand for me. As the contractions got worse and worse, it became kind of a game for me to just keep walking during a contraction and pretend I wasn't having one. That was an advantage of not being in the room. In the room, everyone just sits and stares at the monitor and compares the contractions, etc. When walking, it not only helped me deal with the contractions and made them stronger and more consistent, but my husband didn't know when I was having one.

After several hours of being on my feet, my legs were just getting tired. They had a fairly comfortable chair and I was able to sit in that for a while and just try to relax and let the contractions come. I tried moving around to find comfortable positions and we also stimulated my acupuncture "go" points during my contractions. At first they didn't hurt all that much, but they got to the point where the points hurt way more than the contractions and we had to stop doing it. The reason I stimulated the points was so my energy could flow freely and let the contractions come on more effectively. It worked. A little after this, things really starting pick up. I just couldn't seem to get comfortable in any position. A little after 6pm the nurse came in to check me before she left for the day. I was 90% effaced, 1+ station, but only 3 cm. So, I figured I was about half way there and it would probably be another six hours or so. So, I sat back on the chair and listened to my relaxation scripts and tried to get through the contractions. After maybe 10 minutes or so, I just felt like I had to get in a different position. The contractions were just getting too intense. When I stood up, I trickle of water went down to the floor. My water had broken. Well, after that things went really fast. About all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball on the bed. I just couldn't stand up or kneel or anything because my legs were just shaking. The contractions became a force to reckon with. I started to feel like I was in my own little world with just me and the baby. Yes, my doula was there doing hip presses and my husband and mom were there but it was all about me and the baby. The thought occurred to me that I might be in transition but I figured there was no way I was because she just checked me and I was only at 3 cm.

During the whole labor, I felt really good and had good, strong energy. I was trying to enjoy the experience and focused on being positive and getting the baby out. All the things I said out loud may not have been totally positive. I said things like, I think this is the point that I can see why people get an epidural and I can't do this for six more hours. But then my mom said well, maybe you won't have to. It's amazing how encouraging words really help at that point. Inside I just felt good and positive and thought things like: I'm doing this. I can't believe it's finally time. I need to focus on making the contractions effective. I need to try and relax and just let my body open up and do what it knows it needs to do. I was also surprised at how little pain I experienced. It hurt but it was more because my entire body was involved in getting the baby out. It was more like an intense force was taking over my body and there was nothing I could do about it but let it take over and just get through it.

During the whole labor, it felt like I needed to go #2 but it was stuck. I tried going but nothing would come. Eventually it got to the point where I really felt like I needed to go #2. My doula suggested I get up and try to go because, if nothing else, going #1 would help relieve pressure. I hurried to the bathroom in between contractions and went a tiny bit of #1 but I felt like if I could just relax, then the #2 would come out. My doula told me to just relax and see if it would come out. Well, I relaxed but #2 didn't come out. Instead, I could feel burning and the head. I said something about how it was burning and the doula hurried and pulled the nurse's cord and I hurried back to the bed.

Then the baby started pushing. Well, maybe it was my body. I couldn't stop it. The baby wanted out. They told me there was a little lip left and not to push yet, but it was really hard to do because I wasn't pushing. My body was doing it all by itself. Finally after three contractions or so the doctor was there and they said I could push. It felt really good to push. It wasn't hard to do. My body knew what to do. I only pushed for about three contractions worth before Kayla was out. It was the awesomist feeling ever. It felt really cool when she was crowning. My contractions stopped for what seemed like a long time and I just laid there with a head between my legs. Then it felt really neat on the next contraction when I pushed her out. I could feel her floppy little body come out and then I got to hold her.

The labor went so quickly and smoothly. I went from 3 cm. to deliver in less than an hour and the whole labor was only 7 hours, which is great for a first-time mom on pitocin. I really didn't experience hardly any pain at all. I felt good the whole time and really positive. I felt like my body was working and that it knew what to do and all I had to do was let it do it. I didn't think I had any fears going in to the labor and was happy to find out that I really didn't have any fears. I knew I could do it without an epidural or anything else and it was such a good feeling in the end when I did do it. A lot of the reason I didn't want the epidural was for the baby. Among other things, I knew it would help her breastfeed easier. She picked it up right from the start (a few minutes after delivery) and didn't have any problems. It is taking longer for me to figure it out all the way but I am definitely getting there now.

The after-birth part was almost worse than the labor. It was hard to sit there and get stitches (I tore since I pushed her out faster than I probably should have). I also felt a lot better when I held her. I only got to hold her for a few minutes before they took her away and dressed her. They said her lips were blue. Part of me had enough to deal with from the stitches and everything, but looking back I know it would have helped to hold her. They took her to the nursery soon after delivery and about the time she left, I just started shaking and shaking. People said that is normal and is because of the shock of delivery and all of a sudden not having a baby in you, etc. but I know I wouldn't have shaken for nearly as long or as hard if I would have held her. She was gone to the nursery for such a long time. I mean, it was like an hour or two since they were really busy. That was really hard.

In our case, we chose to deliver at the hospital because that's what our insurance would cover. I knew there would be differences between a birthing center and the hospital, but I figured most of the differences would be during the labor. I actually didn't really have many complaints about the labor part in the hospital. It was the after-birth part that I didn't like. I didn't like having my baby taken away from me. I didn't like nurses coming in constantly to check vitals on me and the baby. I didn't like them asking me if I wanted this or that medication or when the last time me or my child went to the bathroom. I didn't like that they said my baby was a little small for her age and so they needed to poke a needle in her every six hours to check her blood sugar. I didn't like them telling me when to breastfeed. I didn't like how they made me watch some movie before I could go home. I mean, the nurses were really nice and were just doing their job but a lot of that would be avoided in a birthing center so I hope I can do that next time.

Kayla is so fun to have around. The children love her. I won't lie and say it's been easy all the time. My poor husband has really had to work hard. He made all my meals and went back and forth to the hospital. He was dad and mom for several days while all I did was sit on the couch and watch him and ask for things myself. My husband is the one putting the children in bed and feeding them, etc. My family has also helped out a ton. It would be a lot harder without them. They all took turns taking care of my older children while we were in the hospital and I barely worried about them because I knew they were well taken care of.

My daughter still just constantly asks to hold Kayla and my son tries to give her kisses all the time. They are both good helpers and love to get things and bring them to me. Kayla seems like a good little baby - at least so far. She nurses for a long time. In the day she nurses pretty often but at night she will sleep for sometimes 4-5 hours at a time. She is already growing and looking healthy and getting chubby cheeks and filling out all over. It's so fun to watch her grow. I really enjoy breastfeeding her and feel a special bond with her when I do. I would definitely do the pregnancy and labor over again - just not for quite a while because, for me, the pregnancy was the easy part. It's taking care of the children after that's the hard (and most rewarding) part.

This whole experience was quite different than adopting. I can't say that one is better than the other. They both have more or less the same results - a baby. Adopting is hard because you don't know when you will get your baby, it's way more expensive and way more paperwork. It's really hard to be ready at any moment to get on a plane and then hard when you can't go home right away and have to live in a hotel. But there are benefits like it's not nearly as physically demanding and you get to take them to the temple to be sealed to you. That is a definite highlight and advantage over having your own. It's too bad every child doesn't get to experience that.

With Kayla I really enjoyed the pregnancy and having an idea within a few weeks of when we would have her and the delivery was amazing. But the after-birth part was difficult and the whole process was a lot more physically demanding than adopting. I suppose it all depends on how your adoption experiences were and how your pregnancy was.

I wouldn't say that I felt any less bonded with my adopted children than I have with Kayla. I think it's because in all cases you do a lot of bonding with your children before they are born - no matter how you get them. And then when you see them for the first time, it really don't matter how you got them. They are yours. You just can feel it deep inside. It's like: "Oh, there you are. I've seen you before and it's nice to get to know you again."

Overall I just feel really grateful and blessed. The whole experience was great and something I really thought I may never get to experience. It was such a spiritual journey to get to this point and my life will never be the same again. Each child is such a miracle. It's so amazing to me that your body knows what to do from the very beginning of your pregnancy and you really don't have to do anything to make it happen (once it's started). I know that we were supposed to have Kayla when we did - just like our other children. I'm so grateful for the direction I received from the Lord to get her here. The whole process was truly a spiritual journey.

The night after I delivered her, I almost didn't sleep at all. I just laid there and smiled for hours and thought about everything over and over. I just felt so blessed and loved and grateful and happy. My joy could not be contained.